Violence and True Self

written by David Bersson

You try to be a hero,
and end up a Nero.
While the city burnt,
nothing at all was learnt.
While history was supposed to teach,
the lessons learned were out of reach.
Another generation has lost,
lessons of war and its callous cost.
A burning body, a senseless war,
man is violent within his primal core.
meditate on bravery, meditate on fears.
Why are we still in swords and spears?
(quote from a poem by David Bersson written in March of 1979 e.v.
Poem from meditation from an article 48,000 deaths from China invading Vietnam over seventeen days. )

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

My early meditations on violence come directly from the instruction to cut a living branch for a magical wand. Eliphas Levi, in “Transcendental Magic” instructs that you amputate a living branch with a golden sickle right before the rising sun at that moment when the tree is ready to blossom. Other old books on magic instruct in similar directions of savagery. Breaking a dead branch off a living tree was also inconsistent with a karma free wand where I would interfere with the will of those species of bird which peck dead branches for insects. I decided this wasn’t going to my method where I wanted a karma free wand. So, instead I carved my wand for the magical operation from a branch that had fallen naturally by the wind. After completing the magical wand I felt like what I had done had changed the course of my Path. I taken a step on my Path and Great Work which led to meditation after meditation on the preservation of life, and especially the folly and stupidity of violence begotten by obsession, ideology or raw emotion. I saw ecology in its glory as a science where I perceived it as a Trumpet of the Aeon. Further, these meditations became important to me where I knew that we, as human beings, needed a greater sense of civilization than past history was shouting at you in the text books. On the other hand, I needed to understand how it all fit in with evolution, survival where violence is justified by war.
My aspiration decades ago was to be a real Adept and Master where I could truly give assistance to initiates where true initiation occurs. This meant a very real stand on what a human being really is noting that in spite of so many thousands of years of being homo sapiens our species has not shown it ever learns the lessons of the past. How intelligent our species seems where we can achieve any number of attainments yet how stupid our species seems where the stupidity of violence is yet perpetuated among the multitudes. So, therefore, I have tried to bring myself to a deeper understanding of our habit of violence noting that no solutions have ever been actually been found.

After all, we will eventually go to the stars where we will need such primal instincts to survive other species that have similar evolutionary waves. The possibility of other waves of evolution which do not include natural selection, predators, and the gospel according to Charles Darwin cannot be known until we meet intelligent life forms that have reached our level. Evolution set aside from how we came to be is simply unknown. Therefore our primal urges and True Self will be a key to survival as we move to Goldilocks Planets. Diplomacy between ourselves whose history is saturated with violence and another intelligent life form who has a similar history of violence is something we must be ready for. Indeed, we human beings do not play well with others as history shows us.

Well, if violence is part of our being we can balance this habit with Love under will.

The Adept Minor within hates that evil should be forged in the world and His Great Work is to advance to Adept Major where he faces the next level of his magical powers in preparation for Adept Exempt where he writes his thesis to be his school of thought in preparation to Cross the Abyss. This thesis is extremely important to present properly where its proposal for the welfare and progress of the human race, and as a leading school of thought, does not exclude a knowledge of the Universe where true issues are presented. So by Adept Exempt you will find any number of issues and meditations will occur. My meditations on violence and the true self might be of assistance to others on the Path. Which essay is My thesis of A.E. I will not state for it would unveil the shrine.

After some meditation on violence where such tendencies can be dangerous in a civilized world I decided to search myself to observe after all these years of introspection to observe myself with clarity, honesty and True Self.
It is worthy of commentary in this article to state that a great deal of the meditations were attempting to work out the issues of the nature and powers of my being where we must include what we would normally consider to be negative and balance this with its opposite. Violence in this article being covered is only one of many meditations on my Path. In fact, I have meditated on so many issues over the years that I have gone so far as to meditate on the subject of my meditations meditating on the depth of the meditation noting whether the meditation was balanced by its opposite or return to the meditation that I meditated on to observe another plane of the meditation. Now that you mention it, if I meditated on the meditation trying to improve the meditation I might very well awaken a meditation connected to the meditation that has moved to a higher plane creating an unforeseen meditation on a subject that I did not perceive as magically linked. We began our meditation by the formula of Atlas holding the world on Our shoulders and never shrugged. Completing this meditation we balanced the pairs of opposites. We then went back and observed whether our meditation written in the past would yield something of another nature than what awakened from the insights of that time prior.
What did I learn? Something very surprising. I found that if I read my own essays I developed my insights. I did not foresee this nor had I a hint in anything I was reading that another self would teach another self from the past. It should make sense that to any serious aspirant that to exclude a meditation on violence is to ignore an aspect of the nature and powers of your being that might be held up and looked at with calm and clarity. After all, how are you understand yourself, know yourself, see yourself in the mirror as you really are if you do not resolve what you are?

Looking through my diaries throughout the years I have found key entries that show a very real struggle not to be absolutely appalled by the sheer audacity of those who foolishly emerge themselves in such behavior. One of my entries was interesting. I am complaining about so many science fiction movies which show the earth exploding. Alien invasion movies especially disgusted me as well as the Armageddon aftermath of a world destroyed by robots or zombies. Murder, torture, and senseless violence seems to move throughout all these scripts. The good man finds his wife missing and goes on a killing spree to retrieve his wife playing on any number of primal emotions. Even the villian of the story isn’t engaging in the level of violence as the hero of the theme kills over and over again. Ten minutes of embrace in the movie to play on your emotions and the rest of the movie is murder and torture. It all gets quite tiring after a time where nothing new is sold at the antique shop.

The meditation continues. If I wasn’t absolutely disgusted with news giving us robbery, mass murder and war we cannot even watch a movie without watching a decapitation or a detective looking over a dead body that was mutilated by a serial killer.

It is, indeed, a curious state of affairs, don’t you think? Where the notion of any religion not being able to be a Government without oppression of the people exists. Give me a list of all the religions that can replace Government which gives you a freedom greater than Democracy. The meditation continues where we mercilessly and unabated in our determination to gain perspective look for a religion or a Government that does not kill and torture. Well, I’m waiting! If your religion replaced your Government would it or would it not make your Country freer than it is now? Will it become a nation of Jihad, Inquisition or simply a violent genocide? Can’t answer that, can you? Well, perhaps a brand new horror story in theater to add to the other idiot movies that thrill everyone with all the murder and torture. Not a very pleasant vision, but let me suggest it as yet another enlightening meditation to add to your practices. Well, don't look at me. I do not perceive the Law of Θελημα as a religion but as a complex form of spiritual enlightenment. No, the Master Therion is not the prophet of a new religion but the prophet of the New Aeon.

How do I balance my being in preparation for spiritual enlightenment and the awakening of my spiritual, magical and mystical True Will to retain my humanity as a star going upon my course through the universe to discover my True Self. After all, I am supposed to be an intelligent life form called a human being capable of spiritual initiation. Yet, the balance of opposites going so far back as the Emerald Tablet and officially presented in Liber Tzaddi shows a tradition of finding assimilation of such a human dilemma. We as initiates need the self control where we are absolutely prepared for transition, or changes where we either choose a continuation of our life with lessons learned or we find ourselves needing care from our trauma.

It is clear then that upon our Path toward spiritual enlightenment that the gurus from India castrate parts of the self in their naive attempt to be more civilized. Some of these gurus even do yoga where they can walk on coals or sleep on the bed of nails where they control pain. Well, these methods are clearly not acceptable for me who would will sense and rapture.

Of course, of course and on course! I needed to only meditate on how the God and beast shall mingle in the globed priest to observe how certain Yoga meditations not being purged by the prophet compromise our spiritual evolutionary process. This throws the interpretation of those ancient theories of the Divine Self, male or female into the realm of old Aeon crapulous creed perception where the Book of the Law puts those who are of us on the correct path. Now this is getting interesting. Liber AL, Chapter II, verse 70 which I quote: “Be not animal, refine thy rapture”. This clearly distinguishes between Beast in globed priest from the grotesque animal! “globed priest” is a priest that is rounded and well rounded at that. This means “globed” means balanced, but nevertheless a globe with a balanced ecological system that hasn’t been compromised. We see not only is God and beast as the correct perception for this Aeon for men but Liber AL, Chapter III, verse 34 shows us that the Temple of Nuit will continue its Great Work into the next Aeon. So the formula for women in this Aeon for the Divine Feminine has to include the lust & worship of the Snake. The violence of the Third Chapter now becomes clear where the highest spiritual initiations exist for Thelemites where the 93 Current is consistent with real evolution not compromised by the slave mentality that would of hindered us had we not perceived the importance of True Self perceived without prejudice. Let all Thelemites be alerted to the Curses in the Third Chapter and the crapulous creeds. We are warned about those creeds that hinder us in a multitude of deadly traps of creed that would only reiterate mistakes of theology and ideology that must be countered by those Curses. The Curses are teaching us key creeds that have been errors of the past. Learn from our errors of the past!

I want my humanity and my divine self and keep it too means as a man God and beast must mingle in the globed priest!!

So observing my reactions, very real, to the pain of others will assist my self control. My rights end where others begin and vice versa. I cannot impose anything on my neighbor. He lives as he does and I live as I do with different wills upon our mutual course throughout life. All these wondrous theories are thrown out the window when one neighbor loses control and crosses the property boundaries into some sort of angry objection or even senseless violence over a trivial matter. We observe road rage, two Hockey Players suddenly getting in a fight, drug lords mutilating bodies, also elementary school string of murders, and try to control our emotions knowing that as initiates we must retain our equilibration in the face of these horrifying realities of our species.

It should be clear then that we are a very violent species where such violence is intertwined with our very evolutionary process. To achieve self control and a higher level of civilized behavior we must both accept and reject simultaneously violence in our meditations where Love under will must exist on a higher level than emotional relationship. We must face the reality of our True Self in our meditations finding sane solutions in our Next Step towards spiritual enlightenment.

"Love under will" with a relationship with a Priestess or even a lover continues this meditation where we must make the right decisions. When a relationship doesn’t work out both male and female accuse each other of being immature which is quite normal. I have never crossed the line where I would strike a woman and the rule is to depart. Confer Liber AL, Chapter I, verse 41. I have used women and have let women use me but I have never abused a woman lowering myself to violent behavior. To strike a lover losing control in a conflict is to lower yourself to grotesque animal behavior. The Book of the Law is telling you to depart. So depart and show self control. Where ever you depart to you can meditate on the issues of your relationship and improve with the next relationship. Will your ex lover then accuse you of being immature and running away? Why, of course she will! That is clearly the human reaction which is natural for her to consider herself always right. Better such accusations than the stupidity of any violence as a consequence of some petty squabble.

Some time ago I was attracted to a woman who was obsessed by animals where I found myself disgusted that she showed more emotions to her cat than she did for me. I remember looking over those who give over the cat pictures thinking how ridiculous and out of touch with relationship they all were. Now, the woman that I found desirable eventually left the Order with little or no comprehension on what my objections were. Yet, she had become so out of touch with the reality of human relationship that I could not continue to associate with her. Of course, this very real reaction surprised me. I actually desired her and she was petting her cat with more emotion and feeling than she did with anyone. Yet, she seemed to be immature in the manner of embrace. So I needed, again, to enter meditation to try to find some balance after this failed relationship occurred. Do not confuse my reaction for any dislike for animals. She was an excessive case where other women have cats or dogs and do not behave like her.

This meditation where violence, awakening the Divine – Beast and pets do not seem to have a connection and should be elaborated upon. We can define “dog” in Liber AL, Chapter II, verse 19 as a domestic animal. This is someone who has stifled themselves from the True Self where they no longer function with a True Will. In addition, to castrate aspects of the self in meditation is contrary to our evolutionary wave. The “dog” being bred to be a pet means that it will compromise its ecological environment or even die in the forest that they once inhabited. We are now in a position to observe pets and those meditations in Yoga that are inconsistent with the normal function of evolution. No “God” can live in a dog where its function and evolutionary wave has been compromised by moving in contradiction with the Will of its species.

I think that the violence in the world that you see does involve pointing your obsessions and emotions in the wrong direction where you delight in the suffering of others in theater and very real life eruptions of volcanic violence. Whether it is a woman who has forgotten that she is desired by a man avoiding relationship by the satisfaction of the safety of a pet or someone whose obsessions of extremity have avoided Love under will where they forget we are all living beings where they delight in the suffering of others, or even a video game person who wastes their lives with zero relationship where they endlessly do violence in some game or virtual reality we have a common error that leads to no improvement whatsoever. After all, who really learns from the errors of past history or really learns from past experience? The soldier either comes back from the front lines proud he has killed many enemies or comes back silent in the guilt of his iniquity. This is how we as humans react and the pattern of senseless violence does not seem to end well.

New laws do not achieve any solution. The laws presently in existence ordinary already cover the problem but to cleverly get votes they act like they need something more to add fear motivation in the form of imposing laws. A lawmaker thinks that if they impose stricter laws it will stifle violence. This has proved erroneous where nothing changes with regards to such logic. The lawmaker always tries to give the people what they think the people want never distinguishing between mob psychology and the vote of the people or any delusion they might have from the rationalizations of any number of psychological projections. They are clearly of very little assistance with the issue of violence where they assume if they say the right words at the right moment of pending issues they will get elected for another term. If anything, Governments of all persuasions have armies and teach war so who are they to have a civilized solution? Religions have been hard pressed to stifle violence where they murder each other attaching themselves to pointless ideologies. Philosophy has dropped to all fours in the majority of cases where endless rationalizations go nowhere to give us any real solution. Murder and torture goes on and on in spite of all of them pretending to have a real path.

The meditation is starting to become most intriguing, indeed. Now that we have established that a very real issue exists that hasn’t been resolved we must meditate on how any civilizing effect might be a permanent solution. We see the danger of castrating primal urges in ourselves which compromise our humanity but simultaneously observe that violence is forever a stupid solution to communication otherwise resolved by some sort of compromise as we attempt to move to a higher level of understanding of each other. We continue the meditation trying to clarify within when violence is stupid and when it is for survival of our life. We find absolutely no solution is the sum of the equation of the meditation save our own method to resolve the issue by our own private meditations.

Brace yourself. I’m about to say something clever; as I present how a meditation on violence can lead to a meditation on freedom. Freedom is a spiritual state of consciousness and once truly attained cannot be taken away by Government or religion? I place such an insight with a question mark knowing that the instrument, being the actual physical body no matter how well trained cannot retain its balance of spiritual and material without being subject to the pains of torture.

Goodness, my meditation has become so clever that two readers have just committed suicide and two others have become None with the universe. Just another day at the office. I told you to brace yourself. Did you even hear a single word I said? Well, eight is one of the numbers of infinity so lets juggle eight perceptions simultaneously as we further the complexity of this meditation. It is clearly another meditation not necessarily unconnected with our present meditation entirely to explore the ancient Egyptian Gods and the insights of “beast and God in globed Priest”. In the sense of being in touch with the evolution and True Self of the star upon their course throughout the universe to a discovery of their True Will we carefully study each God or Goddess whether it possesses a Lion’s Head with a human body or a Hawk headed mystical Lord to observe carefully how efficient this pantheon of Gods is consistent with our evolutionary wave duly retaining consistency to retain our primal self and not compromise ourselves as human beings. For to ignore your True Self, castrate your True Self, deny by dogma your True Self or rationalize in contradiction to your True Self is not to properly unlock the mysteries of the nature and powers of your being and to stifle the evolutionary process. This directs our attention to the Gods of ancient Egypt with its animal headed Gods as an efficient metaphysics consistent with, ironically, keeping our humanity by not ignoring our primal self and assisting us in an understanding of the concept of the God King or Queen. We have now created a magical link in our meditations between beast headed Gods or Goddesses, True Self, evolution, initiation, True Will, conquerors, violence and the Great Work.

I absolutely recommend that meditations on violence not be excluded from your Path. To truly attain you must understand the nephesh with equal clarity as the neshamah. Yet, such meditations on violence must be followed by contemplations that result in relationships that involve Love under will.

For to be passively indifferent is as dangerous as permitting your romance to overflow into emotion is as dangerous as stupid obsessions with violence.

To awaken the True Self with this plan of a series of meditations is to unlock the True Will of the Star is highly recommended.

We find Adolf Hitler as repulsive as Mahatma Gandhi.

Love is the law, love under will