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Fission for the Nuclear Family

(A Romantic Comedy in the Aeon of Adultery)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The age of the assumption of monogamy is over. In the enforced mono-culture of the Old Aeon, there was a predominance in the western world of bonded pairs of opposite sexes mating, usually for the procreation of children, to the point of any variant lifestyle (with the grudging exception of singlehood) was taboo, and usually illegal.
With the words:

"The word of Sin is Restriction. O man! refuse not thy wife, if she will! O lover, if thou wilt, depart! There is no bond that can unite the divided but love: all else is a curse. Accursed! Accursed be it to the aeons! Hell. "Let it be that state of manyhood bound and loathing."

... all of that was thankfully brought to a long-overdue end. That this commandment is beginning to be observed throughout the world eases the way for those who, like myself, practice non-monogamous relationships with my lovers. Within the terms of a non-monogamous relationship, either partner has the agreed-upon mutual option,whether acted upon or not, to enjoy the companyof any other man or woman without violation of the agreement of trust that exists between the original partners. This form of partnership recognizes that a person can have affection and/or attraction for other people which in no way alters the relationship between the original pair, except inasmuch as that person is irrevocably altered by the experience of Union with that other Star, which changes are going on constantly, anyway, in the life of a person (one would think!) as they accumulate experiences both within and without romantic or sexual relationships. Profane monogamy often appears to be based on the desire to control the experiences of another Star on their journey through the Body of Nuit, which I deem, in the terms of Liber AL, to be Sin.

This non-monogamy is the lifestyle I have chosen. I was born among monogamists, raised by them, and was, in the confused early days of my adolecence, a fully functioning monogamist myself, until I perceived the folly of it all in an insight which anticipated by reading of the Book of the Law by more than a decade. The decision to love non-monogamously (with like-minded partners!) was made in the midst of my sexual prime, during which I enjoyed relationships that lasted, some, as briefly as a night and some, as long as four years. It was a choice I made and a life I lived long before I had Aspired to the Great Work, and long before I had ever heard the Word Θελημα. And, I am proud to say, I have enjoyed a mutually non-monogamous relationship with a woman for six months now, and it is still going strong. Non-monogamy is NOT, as some Disciples and novice Initiates seem to beleive, the most Thelemite way of life, nor necessarilly the correct way for them who are truly called Thelemites to conduct themselves. Every man and every woman must choose their own course. Aping the actions of your fellows in the Order (or, indeed, anyone's) will not address the mandate: "Thou hast no right but to do thy will", no matter how perfectly Thelemite they are. Volitional monogamy is a perfectly acceptable lifestyle choice for some of those who are called Thelemites, provided that the spirit of Θελημα exists in that relationship.

Yet, I have observed that non-monogamy, once it is understood fully, has an appeal for many who accept the Book of the Law, or even those who have merely been influenced by its Magical Current at work in the world, and I anticipate that this will continue to be the case, because it is an acceptance, in practice, of those sentiments declared by Liber AL regarding sexual morals and marriage, whereas even the previously-mentioned voltional monogamy still involves the assumption that the pact or agreement made between partners will still be in harmony with the Will of both persons at a future time. As the future is sometimes uncertain (as is the case for them whose Clairevoyance is less than absolutely 100% accurate), this is a risky pact to make... but this, of course, can be said of any Magical Oath, including, indeed, the Oath and Taskof a Probationer of the A∴A∴, or indeed any of the other Grades. That this is no light matter is communicated systematicly to all Aspirants in or to the A∴A∴ in the lections given to Aspirants, and in the text of the Oaths and Tasks themselves. It will suffice to say that if one values the nature of the Union, one will use prudence and sober thought before venturing to seal that Union with any pact, or oath, whether that oath is spoken (as in the case of the A∴A∴ Oaths and Tasks) or unspoken and understood, upon the pain of being considered frivolous and foolish by those who are involved in the agreement. And in the case of the A∴A∴, incurring the contempt of the Chiefs of that Order is a serious matter indeed.

Many have elected, as I have, to avoid the ignominity of finding one has to break a promise of excusivity in sexual affairs, by never making such a promise in the first place, and celebrating the Union in other ways than with promises of monogamous conduct. Many, at first, find this to be an appealing concept INTELLECTUALLY, but you would be surprised at the percentage of those who one minute proclaim that they will to live this non-monogamous lifestyle, and the next minute find themselves reverting back to the monogamous patterns that were literally programmed into their very nervous system by a culture that accepts monogamy to the exclusion of almost all other lifestyles. Many proudly assert that they are in command of their emotions, which rise up and crush them at the first emotional ordeal. It would almost be funny to observe this ironic puppet-show, but a momentary indulgence in compassion reminds one that slavery to one's emotions is an ugly thing indeed. In the face of such well-meaning hypocrisy, the real non-monogamist can only shrug and watch the would-be non-monogamist struggle to shake off this hard-wired, knee-jerk monogamy. We can, at best, aid by demonstration of an example of successfully assimilated non-monogamy in ourselves. There is little else we can do to help. And the mature among the failures at this will understand if we enjoy a good laugh at their expense, if it inspires them to try harder to gain Volition over Emotion. Something sweeter than laughter will be their reward, upon success.

It is almost as if the Black Lodge WANTS men and women to consider their wives and husbands (and, indeed, their monogamous boyfriends and girlfriends) as property, rather than as fellow Stars with their own Wills, Destiny, and Divinity. And, truly, the number of those willing (aye, eager!) to be engaged in just such a relationship in which they are essentially the property of another, " have and to hold...", is enormous. We are not speaking, however, of voltional monogamy, when we speak in these terms, however.

Within the marriages of Christist congregations (whose numbers swamp the U.S.A.), the concept of "nuclear family" still dominates. This phrase, although coined almost half a century AFTER the writing of the Book of the Law, is a good example of an Old Aeon trend begun after the New Aeon had technically already begun, although clearly in an uncivilized region where its influence had yet to be felt. The "nucleus" of the so-called "nuclear family" was, of course, the married husband of a female wife, his satellite, who was furthermore potentially orbitted by other dependants: children, adopted children, dependant elders, and so on. This perception of the nuclear family, so called, is in contradiction to the point of view of Liber AL, which asserts that "Every man and every woman is a star", and therefore, his or her own "nucleus" as it were. More easilly taxed, tithed, drafted, dominated, and blackmailed, the family man is rewarded for his surrender to profane culture, especially when that family man conforms to predictable and easilly-manipulated norms. He is given a break on taxes, and is applauded as an upright citizen, such that in every democratic election campaign television advertisement, every candidate goes to great pains to include shots of his wife and little ones.

In this still-patriarchically dominated profane country, the U.S.A., women without husbands and children have been, and continue to be viewed by the profane as second-class women. The Women's Liberation Movement has done much to alleviate this prejudice, but much remains to be done at this time in this endeavor.

Perpetuating this monogamous monoculture is the widespread beleif that a person is somehow HURT, or in some way LOOSES SOMETHING when their husband,wife,or partner has sex or shares love with another person,when in fact, theirlover is actually evolving, advancing, becoming a more knowledgable and experienced person with this union... which seem to me to be DESIRABLE traits in a lover! Yet the man whose wife is seduced by another man continues to be the butt of jests, called buffoon, dupe,and cuckhold... merely because another person shares his good taste in lovers! Although popularity is itself no foolproof sign of a worthwhile lover, I am proud when my lover Loves another Under Will. Those who mock the husband of the Whore see only their own tendency for towards the ignoble Age of Slavery. Be thou proud, cuckhold!

A man who desires for his wife not to evolve or advance on her Path through the Universe is truly a despicable slave lord, and deserves nothing quite so much as the continual presence ("...'til death do us part..."!) of such a "shrinking and despised harlot" as would subject themselves to such odious bondage. If there is a fool or a dupe to be jeered in all this, it is HIM, upon whom is played the right good joke by the unerring prankster of karma, that he be fondled by she-gorillas, called handsome by blind women, and kissed by those who would kiss any horse's ass.

Now, THAT's funny!

Love is the law, love under will.