Obsessions and Aspirations
written by David Bersson
January 10th, An CXIX 2023 e.v.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

So many obstacles and obsessions exist for those who either tested by the blind ordeals or outright testing themselves for coordinates of what needs to be resolved or tested by the Instructor. It is far more predictable when you have first concentrated on the priorities of your Oath and Tasks tackling only those issues that appear in the frontal of your path. Anything can happen and will.

As an Instructor one main point has been considered. Something occurred in the student’s past that created some issue that gnaws at the student. The Instructor will never hear the true story for who really failed and finally without warning the student leaves the Order. Naturally, the student always blames the Instructor so the unknown obsession is not revealed. How deep the rabbit hole was cannot be resolved and the student deteriorates in the direction of the complex. On the other hand, when the obsession or ordeal from the past is revealed the student cannot forgive themselves and the student, again, leaves the Order. Those who open up and communicate do succeed but they are “chosen ones” or so it seems where some karma has been in their favor. The hesitation of communication, on the other hand, can be a result of self discipline which is willed aspiration or the lack of communication might mean something is being held back that is so terrible from the past or present that some obsession grows out of proportion to the aspirations that will bind the words and deeds. A solitary magician might be avoiding the discipline and social exchange either from ego thinking themselves more than what they are or some hidden and unresolved complex that existed from the past. Perhaps they think from the idle ramblings of the herd that they would only fail if they joined the Hierarchy or have some hidden obsession that neutralizes their original aspirations. In due consideration of all this, the problems of aspirations and obsessions is an excellent topic of lecture.

Shall we begin by a steadfast dissection of these problems where the possibility of an understanding might very well bring to the surface common issues that have to be faced. After all, who really succeeds? No matter how high the IQ of the student, no matter the potential that is observed, no matter what the education, no matter how abstract the insights of the aspirant, no matter how confident the student seem something goes wrong with the majority of the students who fail and permit some deep seated complex or obsession to ruin them. Whether it is the horrors of a failed relationship or the dream of peace away from being scrutinized or not taking a stand at the right moment of the path or some blown out of proportion ordeal of youth or submission to the false biography of the herd it always seemed ironic that I have stated some are chosen and some are too far gone deeply within to ever succeed. Who knows on what day a flower might bloom? After all, I am not out to expel every student that comes my way and I will to have an abundant number of Adepts in the Hierarchy to carry on the Great Work. Naturally, those who fail often blame it all on the Instructor to justify themselves in any number of ways. Some you can inspire to overpower obsessions with true aspirations. Others have moved too far into the darkness to ever see the light again. I tell them to concentrate on their Oaths and Tasks. I tell them to concentrate on priorities. How could such common sense advice be a sound that is not heard? What could be so unforgivable in their past that the pain of what was not finally resolved? I was severe to a student only once and after that they decided I didn’t like them? Well, more there is to observe than meets the eye where obsessions and aspirations must be meditated on. Clearly, every Hierarchy will have similar adventures so a lecture on the subject might very well assist clarity.

The rare student who has forgiven themselves for being human, as it were, accepting the reality of their own growth moves forth to the greater initiations. In a sense, they grew up and realized that nothing in their past has swayed them from their aspirations. No point event in the learning process that they felt ashamed of in their youth, obsessed with in their path, was accused of by enemies, mocked at by fools or written about has any value aside from the truth of what they have learned and arisen above. Whether it is the herd mentality of the general public trying to pinpoint an error that is supposed to matter to the initiate or some foolhardy act of youth initiation really occurred and the student stands proudly with the very real achievements. Naturally, the dedicated member of the Hierarchy is accused of being obsessed where the failure, now on the sidelines, tries to bring up any number of accusations to justify failure. Of course, if you study carefully the demise of a student’s aspiration to obsession you realize that deep within nothing could be done. The gnawing of whatever could not be resolved finally does the student in. Rather than aspiration inspiring them to bind the words and deeds to success the obsession finally grabs hold of them in a final act of self destruction.

What’s a metaphor? Anything you will it for! Yet, the multitude of meanings that erupt from Holy Books or even the samadhi language from conversations must be judged on the plane they were meant to be a message or insight for. A while back in time but not so long has not to have absolute clarity of memory a loyal student of the Hierarchy whose name I shall not name made an interesting remark to me. It was, “I’m not going anywhere!”. Of course the naive student meant that as a loyal member she was going to remain loyal to the Order. Yet, when she stated this loyal proclamation for a remote moment I prepared myself for her resignation whereas she was so stuck in the mud of her Grade with frustrations she was complaining she wasn’t advancing. Realizing what she meant I nodded and we proceeded to breakfast. While doing will with her over Eggs Benedict and black coffee I realized that I almost made an error in interpretation only to catch myself where she never realized what I had observed. So the conversation over breakfast was a lecture to her about concentration, magical retirements and insights about samadhi language. Of course she was telling the truth that she didn’t go anywhere. That is, no more than anyone else who stayed in the Order and settled in her proud Grade completely establishing herself in her Sephira as the majority do. Why yes, of course. She will wait until I have died and then claim some Grade that she thinks she deserved and was held back at! Ironically, she might be given the Sword of a Chosen One or given the sword as a traitor depending on how her karma manifests and the reality of her dedication is weighed by Higher Forces. For those chosen words that day meant more to me truly understood in their true light than many who have not taken a stand. This incident was important to me knowing that I might have been wrong with how I interpreted her and therefore cannot state that something deep within her has some important Holy Task in the far future. Of course, I will not name her name nor state which country she is from. I bring up the issue to begin my lecture on obsessions and aspirations. After all, you might consider the low plane obsessions the same as aspirations where endless magical work is moving the serious student. Is she, with her choice remark, obsessed by her magical work or showing aspiration toward the Great Work. She must bind her words by her deeds. For example, I might seem obsessed with the Great Work but this is wrongly perceived. My spiritual aspirations move me and this keeps my instrument from deterioration. With those whose obsessions have grasped them in a choke hold they have an instrument that deteriorated as in the grave example of the conspiracy theorist who thinks the world is flat and tries to convince others of the same. My life is dedicated to the Great Work and this means I do not cease my routines. For those few who are nearby to observe me they will note that I am up in the Temple everyday, I am careful with my diet, and I study any number of disciplines to keep my mind active whether it is working with equations, or refreshing myself constantly by keeping maintenance level with magical practices. There is more to this than this, of course, but I leave you with this statement knowing that going over the complexities of the initiate at work has been the main body of my numerous essays. Some may think I need to prove myself to others. On the contrary, if you join forces with me I’ll be the one to test you. Stating this I can only shrug my shoulders remarking I’ve kept morons away by such an apparently peculiar attitude. It goes with such territory to expect some to think I am simply a stubborn, deluded and obsessed madman who has chosen a life which has no purpose. Many are obsessed with their ego or something has occurred in their lives where they have deteriorated into conspiracy theorists or moved to a darkness where no supernal manifests into their being. More than one obsession exists, of course, and someone who is making videos will have so much time involved making videos that they get nothing of significance done.

I might proclaim right from the start that so many conspiracy theorists exist out there that I might counter any of them trying to join forces with me to shake my fist in the form of a few paragraphs in contradiction to their possible interest that I might agree with them. Well, who is going to be first of the most revolting of all conspiracy theorists? Well, it is another matter entirely if a student joins the Order and finds some insane obsession. If this student had followed through with the Oaths and Tasks it would never have occurred.

I would state that number one on my list of objectionable conspiracy theorists is the type of troglodyte who wants to convince everyone that the earth is flat. One of the most disgusting of all conspiracy theorists are those who insist the earth is flat in contradiction to all science finding it nonsense. If any proof of anything exists to do with these cockroaches trying to pass themselves off for human beings is their dire need for psychiatric assistance. If it seems casually obvious to the most intuitive observer or intuitively obvious to even the most casual observer or common sense to the serious observer or seriously sensible to the studious student of sensible observation it is all the same to me. Rationalizations mean they lie to themselves and try to drag you into their thought form. Of course, the logic is always flawed but they never listen. Once obsessed by an obsession it does fill the mind with all sorts of attempts to convince others. It boils down to whether the proof and data is consistent with the method of science. The insane ramblings of the flat earth morons clearly shows obsession and perhaps a new form of mental illness to increase the income of the modern psychiatrist. Now that I mention it, two paragraphs is too much space to waste on the flat earth morons.

Other obsessions that are distinguished from the aspirations that the impartial or naive observer might see are the tedious reiterations of those who become slaves to drugs. The longer they remain a slave to drugs the more the voices of the demon world taunt them and the more prone they are to accidental drug overdose as they replace their will to live with the stream of demonic forces that have engulfed them. Naturally, if you try to tell them the voices are delusions they cannot be convinced.

Those who survive this might very well move to higher initiations but only if they resume the aspirations and steady work. The original idea was to unlock themselves. Instead, they became slaves to drugs. Some of them accidentally overdose and die. It has occurred more times than I like. Ironically, the persistent criticism of the herd mentality trying to pinpoint something on the aspirant is easily resolved. They are all a mere legion of demons who more often than not have never met the person they accuse and are of no consequence where they lie to themselves and end up lying to everyone in their stupid attempt to align consensus with the True Self. The real obsessions have nothing to do with what your enemies think of you but what you think of yourself.

Other demons to haunt the aspirant can arise from the past where their aspiration is compromised. We have the example of the young boy who was raped by a Roman Catholic Priest at thirteen years old, or the young girl that was raped not telling anyone about it, or the young fellow who was beaten by a bully and didn’t fight back, or any number of past issues that the student simply cannot seem to get over. In many cases, the ordeal intrudes the aspirations of the initiate where some obsession tries to compensate. It is disappointing when a student who seems to be doing so well will do something that is out of context to what I have observed their potential is. It is usually the obsession that has overpowered their aspiration from a complex that they did not resolve. It is always a relief when you finally hear from the student that they refuse to ever give up where you are so used to the unexpected unpleasant surprise.

The 93 Current has the advantage of energizing the aspirant with self confidence and for the aspirant who has had very real demons the True Self awakening means either they succeed gaining the very real initiations or fail only to end up entering the darkness where the obsessions gnaw at them for the rest of their lives.

Yet, I end this lecture stating that some are really, really are “chosen ones” and no matter what occurs something occurs where adjustment moves in their favor.

Almost as if the very universe is on their side, I dare say!

Love is the law, love under will