Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
I dare say, that my work with Liber תישארב never seemed complete to me and I struggled with its apparent contradictory visions of past lifetimes. Naturally, to publish a complete record of the experiments has been delayed for many years. My main question was if I wasn't sure about the results I could not give it in a book or elsewhere for serious students. I had to be able to write a commentary on it from the perspective of what I became through initiation looking back at another self which existed prior to initiation. I see that such a perception is only intriguing with any realm of reality when you have so many years to compare what you were and what you have become. After all, the youth I have is only physical. I have cheated death by the elixir and not any elixir that you know from the ninth degree secret.
More than one byway, as I suspected years ago existed where if could not find one method I would surely either develop something else or chance upon a magical secret where I could do what I aspired to do so many years ago and actually discover the secret and apply it.
For other secrets of lifetimes exists which are not unlocked by Liber תישארב. I state no more hints to this suffice to state death exists for the dogs and what Thelemites call cosmic consciousness from Liber Nu & Liber Had gives a magical gift beyond the knowledge of the askasa records.
I gave some of this work with Liber תישארב to Frater KSK aka Ray Eales who published it stating accurately that it was a work in progress. So I resolved the issue of giving what I considered at that time to be of use to others and let the rest of the experiments or magical operations sit quietly and secretly until I could give a commentary on it that was above what I was when I firstly completed the magical gesture. I needed some other unknown initiation to occur to properly explain it in a sensible commentary where it would assist other apsirants.
I once stated to a brother that a first incarnation aspirant could not see backwards to other lifetimes if clearly no lifetimes exist. This, and the perpetual wit of sisters and brothers who realizing that the first incarnation aspirants always have definite characteristics in terms of being naive with something of a twisted non linear logic it occurred to me that we had categorized an aspirant that theoretically could not attain beyond a certain point as a consequence of this singular manifestation of incarnation.
I have thrown this concept back and forth in my meditations and in spite of its apparent popularity with some aspirants in the Hierarchy it might have some taints in its perception. For here I am years later with far deeper insights in what partaking of the essence of all really means and how a manifested thought form is developed from a bud will. After all, this is the epoch of the natural growth of the child and any hypothetical first incarnation aspirant following our curriculum Grade by Grade would have to meet those Dwellers or gain command of those forces to advance or parallel more than one lifetime. In addition, an aspirant showing the characteristics of a first incarnation aspirant might resemble any number of hidden karmic handicaps that are too subtle to observe unless you have reached the higher initiations. Case in point would be the fool who heeded not the play of the magician who reached Binah in a previous lifetime and had to adjust to his new incarnation by lurking & withdrawing. I give this merely as an example for the subject of the first incarnation does after all, give preliminaries where we accept the theory of reincarnation. It is otherwise a surprise to some that such a belief is not necessary to engage Liber תישארב to its conclusion in magical gesture but to simply follow the exercises for parallel results duly recording in accordance to Liber E. My greatest advice is after it all to be ready to give real commentary on it if you are to present such records to others. In my case, I have exercised extreme caution with something that had I not done so I might of confused those in the Outer or even Inner by showing visions that I couldn't sufficiently explain.
It should be otherwise a pertinent point that if those visions do not bother you, disturb you, awaken you, anger you,
frustrate you and otherwise be so much part of yourself that you feel naked before the universe of time nearly embarrassed
that what you are is so blatantly human then you haven't experienced the experience that has been experienced by those who have
taken the instructions in Liber תישארב far enough or seriously enough. The conclusion of one
of my visions was real and disturbing
that I uttered
"I need to forgive myself for being human".
You cannot know the horrors and frustration of those words until you have brought to bear that primal urge to become
something more than what you are over lifetimes.
In addition, it might turn out that everyone is a first incarnation aspirant or no one is a first incarnation aspirant. For to partake of the essence is to actually learn from those who existed and even experience what they have experienced. Of course, since every man & every woman is a star we are all spiritually individual, the center of our own circle and in union from the same star dust spiritually & magically. I presume this might be difficult to grasp.
The Gnostic Mass is a prime example where you ceremonially accomplish the partaking of the essence to a greater or lesser effect depending on the spiritual level of the participant.
With regards to checking history itself I have refreshed my memory (or learned this history for the first time) always trying to spot delusion or contradiction. It was either written in history where I could not remember ever studying it with razor sharp accuracy, not written at all in history or with no little surprise in history but the interpretation altered where the legend or myth made sense. Did a deeper strata of my mind decide it should rationalize its delusion for the sake of sanity?? I have no answer to this.
One example is what really occurred with the birth of Christ. It begins where the innkeeper gets a loud bang at the door where a Jewish couple is requesting a room. The innkeeper seeing the Jew woman is pregnant will not permit her to bloody one of his clean rooms with the sacred sacrifice of the first born as traditional for Priests of Judah & Jews everywhere. So, knowing that he is a businessman and must remain neutral to the savagery of their custom he tells them he has no rooms. He gives the option of murdering their first born in the stable. The Jewish couple finds this satisfactory and proceeds to the stable.
The innkeeper, who is disgusted by the Jewish custom of the sacrifice of the first born continues to observe quietly the suspicious couple. As it turns out, a twist of events occurs. These two peasant Jews are unaware of astronomy or astrology and mistake a perfectly natural phenomena as the star in the east as a sign that God has forbidden them to murder the baby. Such peasants seeing the star in the east and being uneducated peasants think the star in the east is a miracle and this gives them an excuse not to sacrifice the baby to Yaweh. Naturally, the couple seeing an opportunity to save the baby emphasize how special their baby is draws the attention of all sorts of mystics to see for themselves what has transpired. As a consequence of this, this baby grows up obsessed with the delusion he is special and proceeds to stop the sacrifice of first borns by creating his own cult from the Jewish cult.
As you will note from this story of the birth of Christ from work with Liber תישארב nothing is changed in the usual story but details have been given that bring the entire myth into a unique perspective. So when I state I am the incarnation of the innkeeper that objected to the sacrifice of that first born in the stable it is more of a personal adventure on the Path for myself. I would like to think relating the vision might be of assistance to others working with Liber תישארב. As far as proof of its history it might very well turn out to be something no one can ever prove. For Myself it was an enriching and exciting experience where I assimilated something within myself in preparation for future initiations.
I urge all aspirants of our Path to take Liber תישארב seriously. You must realize right from the beginning that no parallel instruction exists in any other system of initiation or spiritual enlightenment.
Love is the law, love under will